Yin and Yang
by todd fan
Summary: Chapter 9 up! OMG AN UPDATE! It's Charles' birthday. Oh yes, it is.
1. First meetings

Yin and Yang

By Todd Fan

Disclaimer: "Your friends will know you better in the first minute you meet than your acquaintances will know you in a thousand years"

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It has been promised, and here it is! A buddy-fic!. This one is about Magneto and Xavier (henceforth known as Erik and Charles for quite a bit) and how they meet and their friendship and such. Mostly it's a lot of random humour. Originally, the pair meet in Israel (meeting Gabby at the same time), but considering the way Evo is timed out (what with their respective kids' ages and everything) it doesn't seem to have worked that way, so here's my take. Enjoy!

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Chapter 1 – First meetings

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**Harvard University, 1955**

Erik Lehnsherr sighed as he stepped out of the taxi, looking up at the college campus. At twenty, he was going to be one of the older freshmen, but he didn't care. He'd worked hard to be able to get to this point, he sure wasn't going to let a couple of years between him and his peers put him off. He ran his hand through his long white hair, currently kept in place by a ponytail. He glanced at the paper with his room designation, stepping inside his dorm, following the hallway until he got to his, slipping the key in the lock and opening the door.

Inside, he was greeted with a mess of boxes….it seemed his roommate had moved his entire house with him. It certainly made Erik's small suitcase, which held all his meagre possessions in the whole world, more tiny than it already was.

"Ummm…..hello?", he tried.

He'd been living in America now for six years, and though his English had improved considerably, his Polish accent was still pretty strong. A bald head pocked out from behind a box, revealing a seventeen year old boy. What kind of self-respecting seventeen year old was bald? Maybe he had a condition. He gave Erik a smile.

"Hi", he said, then looked around sheepishly, "sorry about the…..umm…mess. I think you're bed's underneath the TV.

"…You have a TV?", Erik boggled, heck he'd only had **glimpses** of TV in his life.

"Well….yeah", he replied, shrugging as if to say 'doesn't everyone?', "I'm Charles Xavier by the way"

He paused, frowning.

"Not 'Charley', not 'Chucky', and certainly not 'Chuck'"

"Just like being called Charles, then, do you?", Erik replied, dryly, "I'm Erik Lehnsherr"

"Lehenzheer?", Charles tried

"……No, but close enough", sighed Erik.

He leaned over, mimicking picking up the TV, while it actually hovered a little in the air above his hands. He'd learned to hide his powers well, saved questions he couldn't answer. He put it on the floor, putting his suitcase on his bed.

"That's it?", blinked Charles, pointing at the case.

"I came to this country with nothing but the clothes on my back", commented Erik, "it's just luck I even have a case to put things in"

"Thought you had an accent", grinned Charles, "where you from?"

"Danzig", he said, then added for Charles' benefit, "Poland"

"Poland, huh? Yeah, we have a few immigrants from there after the…", Charles trailed off, then coughed, "oh…sorry. So you came from…"

"Auschwitz, yes", said Erik, frowning, "and yes, I lost my entire family there, and yes, it was horrifying and traumatic, and no, I do not wish to talk about it"

"Okay", blinked Charles, then squinted at him.

Erik blinked, did he attract weirdoes or something? He allowed the squinting to go on for a few moments longer before clearing his throat.

"Ummm…..why are you squinting at me?"

Charles coughed, looking a little abashed. He'd actually been trying to read the guys mind, but it was far less easy than it had been for him to get into this guys mind than it had been for anyone else he'd met.

"I was squinting?", he asked innocently.

"Yes. You were. At me"

"Sorry, I do that sometimes", said Charles lamely, folding his hands together, "It's a condition"

"…..A condition that involves squinting at people?", asked Erik, confused.

…..Damnit. This was why he really had to give words time to pass through his brain before going to his mouth.

"Yes"

"Riiiiiight", Erik arched a brow.

He gave Charles a look that one normally reserves for either old or crazy (or old **and** crazy) people then went back to unpacking, hoping it would give him a chance to ignore the odd American person for a while. Unfortunately, it took less than ten minutes for him to unpack, and that included the time he'd spent opening drawers, pondering if that's where he really wanted that shirt to go. When he'd taken as much time as he feasibly could in this activity, he put his suitcase under the bed, then sat down.

His roommate had once again vanished in the pile of boxes, the only sign that there was someone else in the room indicated by the occasional mutterings. There was shortly a thunk, followed by what sounded like a very nasty curse, Erik hadn't heard **that** one yet. He arched a brow.

"….Are you all right?"

There was silence for a moment.

"…..I think I'm stuck", came a sheepish reply.

Another long silence.

"Would you like me to help get you out?"

"If you wouldn't mind", said Charles, "The blood is starting to rush to my head"

Erik sighed, standing up, walking behind the boxes, blinking at Charles, who appeared to be resting on his head upside-down, his legs tangled in wire, the appliance it was attached to in the deep recesses of the box.

"…..Do I even want to know how you managed this?", he asked, arching a brow.

"I think it's best if you don't ask", said Charles solemnly.

Erik disentangled Charles, the younger of the two hitting the floor with a thud.

"Thank you"

"Why do you have so much stuff anyway?", asked Erik, looking at the boxes, "surely you don't need** all** of it?"

"It reminds me of home", said Charles with a shrug.

Erik blinked, picking up a blender.

"This blender reminds you of home?"

Charles looked at it for a moment, before nodding.

"Yes, definitely" (1)

Erik blinked once.

"…….You are very strange"

"So I've been told", said Charles, getting to his feet, "So, what're you studying, Erik?"

"Philosophy and Engineering", replied Erik.

"That's……an odd combination", said Charles, "Genetics and Psychology for me"

He coughed.

"Genetics is a….hobby of mine", he said.

"Baldness is hereditary", smirked Erik.

Charles looked at him, confused for a moment, before chuckling.

"Oh, right, no….that's something else", he said, "a trade-off, if you will"

"You traded your hair for something else?", asked Erik, the thought absolutely crazy to him, his hand going to his own.

"Not voluntarily, but I've learned to live with it", said Charles with a shrug, then arched a brow, "white hair's quite rare, you know"

"I know, that is why I plan to keep it just as it is", said Erik, "On my head"

Charles laughed.

"Fine by me, we balance each other out that way", he said, "like Holmes and Watson, Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn, Laurel and Hardy"

"Woodstock and Snoopy", said Erik, with a smirk.

Charles grinned, throwing an arm around Erik's shoulder.

"Erik, I can see this is the beginning of a wonderful friendship"

**&&&&**

(1) – From Dead Man on Campus. Damn good movie.

And a legacy is born…..Gods help us all. The was originally supposed to be a one-shot…then grew into a full fledged fic. Oh yes. Do review. Until next time…


	2. Study buddies

Yin and Yang

By Todd Fan

Disclaimer: "I'm proud to live in a nation where anyone, regardless of species, can **buy** a college education"

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Chapter 2 – Study buddies

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The rest of the day had gone uneventful. If one didn't count when Charles swore he saw spoons floating around the room at lunch time, and Erik promptly told him he was hallucinating. Erik had soon gone to bed, after all, he had classes in the morning….though Charles, apparently, wasn't nearly so worried about his first day of lectures. He'd waved Erik off, while attempting to make 'the world best sandwich: ever'. …..Erik was more than slightly concerned about the sanity (or lack thereof) of his roommate.

That being said, his sleep hadn't been disturbed until the morning…when he heard the TV starting up.

"With a hocus-pocus, you're in focus, it's your lucky day!", sang a happy jingly-tune group.

Erik opened one eye, semi-focusing on the TV, which Charles was happily singing along to.

"Smile, you're on Candid Camera!"

"Oh….the humanity", muttered Erik, sitting up with a groan, before falling out of bed with a dull thud, "oww"

"Gooood morning", said Charles cheerfully.

He cocked his head as Erik muttered something in Polish under his breath that sure didn't sound nice at all. Erik stood up, regaining as much dignity as he could, and plodded into the bathroom.

"Not a morning person then?", chuckled Charles.

The door closed in reply. Charles blinked then rolled his eyes, going back to the TV, enjoying the foolish antics of people unaware they were being filmed by people who could be considered stalkers in a different context. A little while later, Erik plodded out of the bathroom, looking a tiny bit more alive, tying his hair up in it's usual ponytail.

"There's pancakes and stuff", said Charles, gesturing to a plate of semi-formed, lumpy pancakes, "and umm, there was toast…somewhere no, wait…I may have eaten it"

Erik looked at the unappetizing offering, then shook his head.

"No, thank you", he said, "I'll skip breakfast, I'm late anyway"

"Oh, okay", said Charles, shrugging, and going back to the TV.

Erik paused to look at him, shrugging his jacket on.

"What about you?"

"I've already eaten, thanks", said Charles, then rolled his eyes, "I ate the toast, remember?"

"No, I mean don't you have a schedule to keep to today?", asked Erik, crossing his arms.

"Sure", smiled Charles, "There's Dragnet, then Highway Patrol, and to finish it all off, there's I Love Lucy" (1)

"….No, I meant your classes", said Erik pointedly, then blinked, "and who is

Lucy?"

"…Okay, I seriously have to educate you in the world of television", said Charles, then smirked, "oh, classes? Yeah, I guess I should go to them"

Erik arched a brow.

"You only **guess** you should go?", he asked, "aren't you taking genetics? Isn't that supposed to be incredibly hard?"

"Nah", said Charles, turning off the TV and standing, "it'll be a breeze!"

**&&&&&**

"**OH MY GOD, THE WORLD IS OVER!**"

A few hours later, and Erik had managed to make out from his screaming roommate that genetics, in fact, was not a breeze. It wasn't even a slight draught.

"Now, Charles, the world is not over", he said placidly from where they sat in the lunch room.

"Yes, yes it is!", said Charles, "Adenine, Cytosine, Guanine, Thymine. They mean nothing to me…**NOTHING!**" (2)

"Charles, take a breath", said Erik, "we can figure this out, I'm sure"

"Genetics is seriously hard!", said Charles with a frown, "there's no way I'm going to pass this semester without reading my tutors min….."

He coughed, catching himself.

"Minutely interesting notebook"

"Here's a novel idea", said Erik, "get out your textbooks and study, instead of watching TV"

"I can't sit and study, I procrastinate!", said Charles, "I can't keep focused on something for longer than a few minutes"

He paused.

"Hey, did you notice that bug on the ceiling?"

Erik sighed shaking his head.

"Point taken"

"What am I gonna do?", Chuck frowned, considering, "I know. I'll tunnel out of here with a spoon, escape through the sewers and live as a quiet but lonely shepherdess named Maria" (3)

Erik blinked at him for a full minute.

"Okay……let's keep that for plan B", said Erik, "look, I'll help you study"

"And what do you know about genetics?", asked Charles dryly.

"Absolutely nothing", smiled Erik, "But I'm a fast learner"

He smiled.

"So, here's the deal", he said, "I help you figure out genetics, and you help me get more acclimatised to America"

"Deal", grinned Charles, shaking his hand, then smirked, "what do you need to know"

"Start with this Lucy", said Erik with a nod, "I wish to learn of her, and why we love her"

**&&&&**

(1) – All carefully studied to be sure I got them in the right time period. TF does her research.

(2) – These are the building blocks of DNA. I hate them. Guess who has to re-sit her genetics exam, go on, guess.

(3) – From Kronks New Groove

Oh boy, I can see this going downhill. Badly. Do review. Until next time..


	3. The Americanization of Erik

Yin and Yang

By Todd Fan

Disclaimer: "You are the best friend a guy with twenty diagnosed neuroses ever had"

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I had an anonymous review from 'Libby K', so I have to reply to it here, so bear with me: They would be slightly out of character at this point in their lives, I mean, Charles at 17 wouldn't act like Charles in his 40's. One of the main points of this story is watching them become the men they are as adults (and have random wackiness, too). Hope that cleared it up

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Chapter 3 – The Americanization of Erik

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The next day came, and Erik had finally made some headway in helping Charles learn better. This involved taking away any and all distractions, so he put his friend in the now empty closet, with only a fold out chair and desk, and his books. He did this out of friendship, just as he ignored Charles' pleas for release for the same reason. He'd thank him for it one day.

"I don't hear studying in there", said Erik pleasantly, where he was sitting leaning against the door.

There was a muffled response, which sounded like Charles wanted Erik to do something unpleasant with a dead fish.

"Come, now, Charles", said Erik, "you must have learned something"

Silence.

"Charles?", he paused for a long time, still nothing, "Knock on the door if you're still in there"

Nothing. Erik frowned. Maybe there was less oxygen in that closet than he originally thought. He sighed, opening the door, finding Charles very much alive, but reading a piece in the book fervently.

"…It actually worked", said Erik, surprised, "you're studying!"

"**Shhhhhhhhhh**", scolded Charles, "this is important"

Erik arched a brow, disliking being 'shushed'. He glanced over Charles' shoulder, reading the page his friend found so interesting.

"Mutation?", he asked.

Charles batted Erik out of the way.

"Don't read over my shoulder, it creeps me out", he said, "and, yeah, mutation. It's a….personal interest"

Erik blinked.

"Why?"

Charles looked up from the book, considered, then frowned.

"You'll laugh at me"

"I laugh at you a lot anyway", replied Erik with a shrug.

Charles had to admit, this was true.

"Okay", he said, "Mutation in the genes are…"

"I know what mutations are", said Erik, "I think I've read more of your book than you have"

"Yes….right", Charles coughed, "Anyway, I believe that, as humans have stopped having to adapt to their environment, the mutations their genes went through to evolve into their current state would go in…another direction"

"Another direction?", Erik asked, "what, we'll be living in caves sticking berries up our noses again?"

"No", said Charles, "I mean, well…I think that humans may eventually gain special abilities. Powers that non-mutated humans don't have"

Erik coughed.

"Oh, really?", he asked, clearing his throat, "like….what?"

"I don't know", shrugged Charles, "the ability to read minds, I guess"

"Yes, I suppose that could be one", said Erik, "maybe manipulating magnetic fields, too"

Charles looked at him curiously.

"…..That's a little precise"

"I like to be precise", said Erik, then quickly changed the subject, "anyway, I have had almost none of your American lessons"

"I taught you how not to jaywalk", said Charles, "that has to account for something"

"Oh, yes, thank you for that", said Erik dryly, "However did I survive without you"

"Okay, look, I'm taking you to that American diner place", Charles offered, "get some real American food in you"

"…..Goodie", said Erik, grimacing.

"Oh, and we're going to expand your vocabulary", said Charles, handing Erik a box.

Erik blinked at it curiously.

"Word-A-Day calendar?", he asked, then flipped to the date, reading from it, "Coypu, noun, aquatic rodent"

He blinked for a second, before grinning.

"Hey, I just learned a new word", he said, then considered, "I've no clue where I can use such a word, yet, but know it I do"

"You do know you're going to get one of those every year for the rest of our lives, don't you?", smirked Charles. (1)

**&&&&&**

A few hours later, and Charles had dragged Erik to a place called 'Cardullo's'. Of course, to Erik, all these food places looked exactly the same, but he allowed himself to be dragged in anyway. He was currently sitting at a table, having chosen his food and awaiting it to arrive. He glanced over at Charles, arching a brow. (2)

"Just so you know, I am not feeling any more American than I was when I woke up this morning"

"You need to soak up the ambience", said Charles with a wave of his hand, "go on, soak!"

Erik blinked at him for a few moments.

"And how, exactly, does one 'soak'?"

Before Charles could reply, the waitress appeared, putting a plate in front of Erik, piled high with food. Erik looked at it, wide-eyed. (3)

"Dig in!", said Charles with a grin.

Erik blinked at the huge serving in front of him, then looked at Charles.

"We get only one plate between us?"

Charles blinked at him in confusion.

"No, I'll get my plate in a minute, that's yours"

Erik arched a brow, looking at his meal again.

"All of this is my meal?", he asked, "but it is bigger than my head"

"Yeah, it is a little small", agreed Charles, "you can have something big for a desert"

Erik looked at Charles, flabbergasted.

"A little small?", he asked, "I do not think I could eat half of this on my own"

"Really?", asked Charles, "It's just normal food, not like we're having a three course meal or anything. You're telling me you're not used to this?"

"I am 'used' to a bowl of cold soup and a piece of mouldy bread", said Erik pointedly, poking his fork in a potato the size of his fist.

"Oh, don't get all mopey and whiney", said Charles, then frowned, "Trouble"

"Where?", asked Erik, looking up, seeing nothing, "where's trouble?"

Suddenly, one of the people in line pushed his way to the front, drawing out a gun, waving it at the casher.

"Empty the register, Honey", he sneered, "or someone gets hurt"

Erik blinked at Charles.

"How did you do that?", he asked.

But Charles wasn't listening, he was too busy squinting at the gunman, who appeared to be looking rather sleepy. The man tried to shake himself out of his stupor, but was unable to, dropping to the floor with a thud, setting off his gun at the same time. A large number of patrons screamed, screams which died down to gasps as the stray bullet hovered in mid-air, not even having a chance to ricochet. Charles frowned, then looked at Erik. His eyes were glowing yellow. Last time Charles checked, that was not quite normal. The second Erik's eyes returned to their normal shade of grey, the bullet fell on the ground.

"I think now would be a very good time for us to leave", said Erik.

Charles nodded, glancing down at the bullet before following his friend out.

**&&&&&**

(1) – This is a running joke from an RPG. Yes, Erik gets them every year, enemies or no. Kinda sweet in a screwed up way.

(2) – Thanks to Ravenpan for the place.

(3) – Yeah, my first experience of an American serving of food was similar. A kind of 'WTF!'.

Weee, and now they know! Do review. Until next time….


	4. Brain Boy and Magnet Man

Yin and Yang

By Todd Fan

Disclaimer: "The problem with people like you who has super powers is that you not really use them for good. If I had super powers, everyone would be naked!"

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Sorry this is so late, writers block is a pain in the patella. Won't be an update next week, I'm on holiday. Wee!

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Chapter 4 – Brain Boy and Magnet Man.

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Once they'd escaped from the diner, neither Charles nor Erik spoke to one another for a while as they walked home. Charles being Charles, of course, couldn't keep quiet for long. He stole a glance at his friend, taking a deep breath, then letting it out.

"…So"

When this elicited no response, he cleared his throat

"Magnetic field manipulation", he said, "I knew that was too precise for you to just think that up"

"I have no idea what you're talking about", said Erik calmly.

Charles frowned.

"Erik, your eyes were **glowing**", he said, "like light bulbs!. In case you haven't noticed, that's not commonly seen as normal"

Erik made a disgruntled noise.

"I'm perfectly normal, thank you".

"You're in denial", said Charles pointedly.

"No I'm not", said Erik, "I just happen to find making metal move normal…for me, anyway"

"Why didn't you say anything?", said Charles.

"Say what? 'Oh, hey Charles, guess what **I **can do!'", said Erik, "You didn't say anything, either. What did you do to that guy?"

"I made him want to go to sleep", said Charles with a shrug, then smirked, "this is like something from the Twilight Zone"

"De de de de de", said Erik dryly.

"This is so cool!", laughed Charles, bouncing ahead.

Erik rolled his eyes, plodding along as a sedate pace, heedless to his more hyperactive companion.

"I mean, what are the odds?", babbled Charles excitedly, "Two mutants from different places on the planet turn out be to friends! **So** cool"

"Woo. Hoo"

Charles didn't seem to notice Erik's lack of enthusiasm, coming to a stop in front of him.

"It's like….", Charles waved his arms around for emphasis, "Destiny!"

He turned to grin at his friend.

"That is so cool"

"Yes, you've mentioned", Erik gave a tired sigh, "numerous times"

"Well, it is", said Charles with a sniff, "Wow, so, what else can you do? I bet you can do loads of things!"

Erik shrugged.

"I don't know, I never really did much with my powers", he said, "handy when you don't have a tin opener, I guess"

Charles blinked at him.

"You never tried anything?", he asked, "You can control one of the basic elements of the planet! And you use it to open tins!"

"Pretty much", shrugged Erik.

Charles shook his head, then grinned.

"Oh, I have an idea!"

"Would you like me to alert the media?", asked Erik, a small smirk playing on his lips.

"Very funny", said Charles, "We have these gifts, right?"

"……Right"

"Well, we should be doing some good with them", said Charles, "Helping others"

"Heh, yeah, we can wear tights and capes", snorted Erik, "Brain Boy and Magnet Man to the rescue!"

Charles crossed his arms, looking at Erik pointedly. Erik blinked.

"….You're being serious"

"We could do a lot of good, Erik", said Charles, "like back in the diner"

"Oh yes, and risk getting found out", said Erik, "What will they do when they find out what we are, Charles? I've been on the receiving end of intolerance. It isn't fun"

"We'll wear disguises", said Charles, "No one will ever know it was us! We can't just have gifts and sit back and do nothing with them"

Erik stared at him, then gave a defeated sigh.

"You're going to pester me about this until I can't take it anymore and give in, aren't you?"

"Most definitely", said Charles, "I'd quit while I was ahead, if I were you"

Erik rolled his eyes, starting back to the dorm room.

"Okay, fine", he said, "but don't make me say 'I told you so'".

"Oh, I won't", said Charles, shaking his head sagely, then paused.

"What now?", asked Erik with a sigh.

"Why are you Magnet **Man,** when I'm only Brain **Boy**?"

Erik considered this, opening the door.

"I'm older"

"By three years!", squeaked Charles, following him.

"I'm not a teenager anymore", said Erik with a smirk, "You are"

Charles crossed his arms, scowling.

"I still want to be considered a man"

"Well, Brain Man isn't alliteration", said Erik smugly.

Charles blinked, then sighed.

"…..I never thought getting you that calendar would come back and bite me in the ass"

Erik looked considerably smug, then arched a brow.

"So, what did you plan for disguises?"

Charles considered this, then smirked.

"You know, I think I might have an idea"

**&&&**

I think by now, we can safely say Charles' ideas aren't all that healthy. Do review. Until next time…


	5. Flying lessons

Yin and Yang

By Todd Fan

Disclaimer: "Your disguise is as convincing as a giraffe wearing dark sunglasses trying to get into a polar bear's only golf club"

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Chapter 5 – Flying lessons

**&&&**

Ever since meeting him, Erik had toyed with the idea that there was quite possibly something very wrong with his best friends mind. Now he was certain it was insanity. No, something even more than insanity. He just didn't know the word for it yet.

"What do you think?"

Erik glanced down at the 'costume' Charles had persuaded him to wear. It consisted of black trousers, a black sweater and a black woollen hat, that had to sit a little skewed on his head, due to his ponytail. Charles was wearing an identical 'costume', though had no trouble with his own hat, mostly due to his lack of hair.

"We look like fools", muttered Erik, tugging at the black hat on his head, "these things don't even hide our faces, not very cunning as cunning disguises go"

"I think we look cool", sniffed Charles, "Like ninjas!"

"…..Ninjas?"

"Yeah", grinned Charles, "super-powered ninjas going to the rescue!"

Erik looked at him for a full minute.

"No", he said, "we look like we're about to pillage a seven-eleven"

Charles rolled his eyes.

"Fine", he said, "next time, you can wear a bucket on your head"

"Oh, why do I even bother?", said Erik snippily, then added moodily, "I could have at least of had a cape"

"Villains wear capes, Erik", said Charles, "And you're not villain material"

"Superman wears a cape"

"Quiet", said Charles, "You'll scare all the villains away"

Erik blinked at him, then blinked around.

"There will be villains outside the college library?", he asked, "Why would they be here? What is there to steal? Old books damaged by students? A lifetime's supply of pencils?"

"…It's a possibility", sniffed Charles, "They'll be here. Just you see. Any second now"

Erik waited patiently. After ten minutes, he cleared his throat.

"Charles…"

"Any. Second. Now"

Erik sighed, leaning against a tree. This was going to be a long night.

**&&&&**

"I can't believe no villains showed up", said Charles as they entered their dorm room three hours later, "not even a petty crook!"

"Well, think of it this way", said Erik dryly, "we can rest tonight, safe in the knowledge the library has survived another night"

Charles rolled his eyes at him, them smiled.

"You know, I've been thinking".

"I really wish you'd stop doing that", said Erik.

Charles chose to ignore the comment.

"You can make things hover, right? By manipulating magnetic fields"

"Yeeees", said Erik cautiously.

"Well, what if you could hover yourself?", grinned Charles, "I bet you could **fly**!"

"I think you're confusing me with Peter Pan", said Erik.

"Oh, come on, it's possible!", said Charles, "we can take you to the roof and you can jump off and see what happens"

Erik blinked at him.

"….And you can't see any possible flaw in that plan?", he asked, "Charles, I am not jumping off a roof. I rather enjoy the full use of all my bodily parts"

Charles sighed sadly.

"Oh, all right", he said, "It was only a suggestion. Can you open the window? It's stuffy in here"

Erik headed over to it, rational thinking only entering his mind as he opened the window.

"….Wait"

Too late. Charles raced forwards, merrily pushing his friend out of their third storey window. Erik's arms pin wheeled for a few moments in a desperate attempt to grab on anything still attached to the building: the window ledge, the curtains, Charles…but failed. With a rather un-masculine scream, he fell down towards the ground…and came to a stop a few inches from it.

As seen as he had not yet felt any bone-crunching pain, Erik opened one eye curiously. Yes, he was definitely hovering, he could feel an invisible something holding him up. He blinked, reaching out a hand to touch the ground. This seemed to break his concentration, as the force unceremoniously dropped him in the flowerbed with a thud.

"Erik? Are you dead?", came the sound of Charles' voice.

Erik groaned, picking himself up, spitting out a mouthful of dirt and petunias. He looked up towards the window.

"No", he said, "**I'm** not dead. But **your **prospects aren't looking too bright at the moment"

"Did you fly?"

"Well, I sort of hovered a little bit", said Erik, then blinked, "You weren't even looking? You pushed me out of a window to see if I could fly without watching the results?"

"I have a teeny problem with heights", replied Charles, "But, hey, it worked, right?"

Erik stood up, dusting himself off, trying to regain some dignity as a couple of girls passed, attempting to make it look like it was perfectly normal to lie in flowerbeds dressed like a mugger. Once they were gone, he took a deep breath, heading inside to get back to his dorm room.

"I am going to murder him", muttered Erik under his breath, "And slowly"

Charles apparently picked this up, and had locked the door. Erik narrowed his eyes at it.

"Charles, let me in"

"No" said Charles, "You'll kill me"

"No, I won't", said Erik with a false cheer in his voice, "I promise"

"Then why are you thinking about smacking my head in repeatedly with an iron bar?"

"It's not like I'd do it", said Erik, "Charles, let me in, you can't expect me to sleep in the hallway"

"Yes I can"

Erik considered for a moment, then sighed.

"Oh, okay then", said Erik, "I'll sleep on the floor. It's not like I'm not used to sleeping in a rough environment. Hungry, hurt and cold. Be like a trip down memory lane"

The door opened.

"That was a sneaky trick", said Charles, "I'm only going to let you play that card once a month from now on"

Erik smiled smugly, striding inside. He'd get him back eventually, oh yes. When he was least expecting it.

**&&&&**

Next chapter, the dynamic duo discover chess. Do review. Until next time…


	6. What's in a game?

Yin and Yang

By Todd Fan

Disclaimer: "Ah ha-ha, chess. The ancient contest of wits. Two opponents: mano a mano. Braino a braino. And look: magnets for ease of travel. You could play chess on the moon"

**&&&**

I really do apologise for this update being late. As readers of my LJ will know, I've been feeling like ten kinds of crap for the last week or so, but I'm better now.

**&&&&**

Chapter 6 – What's in a game

**&&&**

After the last escapade, Charles had refrained from having any 'super hero' nights, and so Erik had managed to get back on that most blissful of student activities, sleeping. It didn't last long.

"Mooooooooooooooooooooooornings here! Morning is here!", came the sound of Charles singing, "Sunshine is here, The mor….**OWW**!" (1)

He winced as Erik's alarm clock bounced neatly off the top of his head.

"That hurt"

"That's what you get for singing at an ungodly hour of the morning", replied the lump in his roommates bed.

Charles picked up the alarm clock which has caused a small goose egg to appear on his temple and blinked at it.

"It's seven"

"It's ungodly", said Erik, "Let me sleep"

"No", said Charles, grabbing Erik's arm and trying to pull him out of bed, "we have something to do today"

"Can't it wait?", groaned Erik, "It's not something to do with saving the world again, is it?"

"Nah", said Charles, "It's an important bonding exercise"

"**HELL,** no!"

"Not like that!", snapped Charles, "I had an idea that will make us even better friends"

"Maybe if I play dead, he'll go away", mused Erik out loud, "like an annoying, bald bear"

"Come **ON**, Erik", whined Charles, "We're going to find a game!"

Erik sighed, sitting up, sweeping long strands of white hair from his face.

"….A game?"

"Yeah!", grinned Charles, "A game that we can always play forever. It can be our thing!"

"We have to have a game now?", asked Erik, "and I thought our thing was doing stupid things then running away so someone else gets the blame"

"Yes, that too", said Charles nodding, "But a game would be something to pass the time, and have pissing contests over"

"…..You are a sad, strange little man sometimes"

"What about card games?", asked Charles, "Poker? Blackjack? Snap?"

"You cheat at all card games, so no", said Erik.

"I don't!", protested Charles, "name one time that I've done that!"

"At the last party we went to", said Erik, crossing his arms, "you used your powers in that poker game to see everyone's hands"

"Hey, we all use the radio I won", said Charles, "and he gave it up, didn't he?"

"Only because you were going to take the guys **insulin**, Charles", pointed out Erik.

"Well I knew he'd have to give us the radio if it were a choice between the two".

"Are you sure you're not really evil?", asked Erik.

"I'm sure", said Charles, "come on, I have loads of stuff!"

Muttering vehemently under his breath, Erik got out of bed, padding sleepily over to where Charles had set up a small mountain of board games on his desk.

"Wow, it must be nice being rich", said Erik dryly, "being able to afford random crap whenever you want to"

"Yeah", grinned Charles, clearly not catching on, pulling the first game up, how about this. **CANDYLAND!**"

Erik look at the game as if something nasty had vomited it up.

"….Candyland?", he asked, revolted.

"No?", asked Charles, "oh well, your loss. How about Monopoly?"

"Can I be the car?", asked Erik.

Charles sulked for a minute.

"But I always play the car", he muttered, "it's not the same without the car"

"Oh, fine then, what about….Risk?", asked Erik, picking up a game, eyeing it, "Mmm, maybe not. War games make me uncomfortable, and give me a bit of a God Complex"

"What about Scrabble?", tried Charles hopefully.

"I can't do the big words", protested Erik, "And it doesn't have my alphabet in there"

"Damn you", said Charles, "Damn you, you Polish Pole….from Poland!"

"…..I'm going back to bed", said Erik.

"Wait!", said Charles, desperately, "How about Hungry, Hungry Hippos!" (2)

Erik watched him, unblinking, for what seemed like a full five minutes. Then, without a single word, he turned, got back into bed and turned off the light.

"……I'll take that as a no, then?", asked Charles meekly in the darkness.

**&&&&&**

A few hours later, and Erik had deemed it was a decent enough time to get breakfast. Charles, however, refused to drop the whole game situation, much to Erik's chagrin.

"Well, I give up", sighed Charles, "we can't find anything that both of us like"

"It isn't that big a deal, Charles", said Erik, "really, it's not"

"But I wanted a game", pouted Charles.

Suddenly, there was a whooshing sound, followed promptly by a **SMACK** as something hit Charles on the head, falling to the ground.

"**Ouch!**", yelped Charles, glaring at an empty, but open window, "Son of a……**THAT** **HURT!**"

Erik picked up the offending object.

"It's a…wooden box"

"It still hurt", said Charles, rubbing his head, "No hair, no padding!"

"Baby", replied his friend, opening the box up, arching a brow, "it's a chess set"

Charles, seemingly forgetting the new lump on his head peered at it for a moment, before nodding.

"It's a sign"

"A sign of what?", asked Erik, "That you have a mild concussion?"

"No", said Charles, taking the box from him and looking at it in awe, "This is **our** game! A game that will bind us as friend forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and…"

"Stop it"

"Ever", said Charles, then grinned, "Think, Erik, we can play this game for years! We can be those old me you see in the park playing chess and knowing each others moves so well, but still playing it because it cements a friendship that will never die"

"Have you been sniffing the toilet cleaner again, Charles?", asked Erik, "You know, you're not supposed to do that"

"It was just a thought", sulked Charles, "It could happen"

"Yeah, sure it could", said Erik, "and you'll get a super sonic jet that comes out of a basketball court"

"Well, if you don't know how to play chess….", tried Charles.

"I know how to play chess", sniffed Erik, affronted, "I can play chess very well, thank you"

"Then you must be afraid of losing to my superior mind", said Charles, "It's okay, I understand. Better to walk away without being a loser"

Erik considered this, then narrowed his eyes.

"I'm white"

"No, I'm white", said Charles, "I'm always white"

"But I want to be white", said Erik.

"I had the game epiphany, so it's my choice, and I chose white", said Charles.

"This is an epiphany now?", asked Erik, then sighed, "Oh, fine then, I'll be black. I don't care, I'll beat you anyway"

"Loser buys drinks tonight", said Charles, "And stays sober"

"You're not technically old enough to drink", said Erik, "Neither am I, really"

"Chicken", smirked Charles, heading off with the chess set.

"Oh, it is on", said Erik, following him.

**&&&&**

(1) – Mornings here, from Friends.

(2) – All games thus far mentioned are in the correct time period. I'm not too sure when HHH came out, I can't find a date. I'm probably wrong, but I don't care, 'cause it's an awesome game.

Wee, and a pastime is born. Epiphany chess!. Do review. Until next time…


	7. Enter the woman

Yin and Yang

By Todd Fan

Disclaimer: "You smell that? Its like essence of pimp"

**&&&&**

Chapter 7 – Enter the woman

**&&&&**

Erik Lehnsherr was not amused. Not in the least. He had been beaten abysmally by Charles, and was no sober while his best friend got very, very drunk on the alcohol he bought.

"And then the talking llama said….", Charles stopped, mid-sentence, squinting as he thought hard, "No, wait, was it the kangaroo? Maybe it was the Irish man"

"I really couldn't care less", said Erik, "In fact, I can't think of anything I care less about right now"

"You're just sore because I beat you", said Charles, moving to throw an arm around Erik's shoulders and missing…mostly because Erik was on his other side.

"I still say you cheated", sniffed Erik, "I'm going to have to find a way to stop you from reading my mind"

"I didn't cheat", said Charles, "And, trust me, I don't like going in your mind too much. It's messy"

"Oh, thanks", said Erik, getting up and walking to the jukebox.

"Oh, put the Four Aces on!", grinned Charles.

"No", said Erik, "Not at all. Gah! Is it too much to ask for a little Elvis Presley? Just a little?"

"If I promise to take you to his concert in Lubbock, can I have some Four Aces?", tried Charles. (1)

"I suppose", said Erik with a sigh, "Though bribery doesn't suit you, Charles"

"I don't know what you see in a Blues-come-Country singer with weird hair", said Charles, "I mean, trust you to pick some obscure singer to like"

Erik shot his friend a glare.

"Better than the Four Aces", he sniffed, "Can we go back to the dorm? It's late and I'm sure you've already drunk your bodily weight in alcohol"

"No way hos-ay", said Charles, "I'm fine"

He hiccupped and promptly slid off his barstool. Erik sighed, walking over and sitting him back up on it.

"Well, I'm not staying out any longer, I'm going to study now", said Erik, "you remember study, right?"

"I have hands", replied Charles happily

"…..Yeah……right", Erik gave him an odd look, "just try to get back to the dorm room without killing yourself, okay?"

Charles gave him a thumbs up.

"Okely-dokely-okely-pokely"

Erik blinked again, then shook his head, muttering in Polish as he walked off. Of all the roommates in all America, he had to get **THAT** one? Charles watched him go, then smiled hopefully at the bartender.

"Can I have a tequila?"

The bartender crossed his arms.

"ID?"

Rats. Charles gave his most charming smile.

"I left it in my other tuxedo"

"You're not wearing a tuxedo", said the bartender, "and no ID, no more booze"

"Well, fine, I'll just take myself elsewhere", sniffed Charles, getting off his barstool, stumbling a little.

He blinked at the floor, which appeared to be moving like waves on an ocean. He grinned, pointing at it.

"Silly floor", he giggled, then promptly fell on it.

He lay there for a few moments, wondering how he got down there. Before he could work that out, a voice sounded above him.

"Are ye okay?"

He blinked up, seeing a red-headed woman his age looking at him in concern. Wow, she was pretty…both of them were. Charles, gave her his most charming smile. He was going to have to say something incredibly suave to sweep her off her feet.

"Chuzzles"

Yeah. That'd get her. He was getting lucky tonight! She wrinkled her nose at him.

"…..I really suggest ye drink some coffee, before ye need tae get you're stomach pumped"

"You have a funny accent", said Charles, getting to his feet and swaying slightly, "My best friend has a funny accent, too. He's Polish. You're not Polish, though. You're Irish"

"I'm Scottish", she replied, crossing her arms.

"That's what I said", said Charles, "Welsh"

She rolled her eyes.

"Where's your room?", she said, "I'll help ye back"

"Is that a proposition?", grinned Charles.

"No", she said, "It's me being a good doctor in training"

She steered him towards the door.

"Bloody Hippocratic Oath", she mumbled, "I didnae think drunken idiots counted, apparently, they do"

"Hi, I'm Charles the drunken idiot", grinned Charles as they headed out.

"I'm Moira, the annoyed med student", she replied, "keep moving, smirky" (2)

**&&&&**

Erik had settle happily with a book, enjoying his study time without an annoying room mate to talk endlessly at him. He'd just been figuring out something incredibly complicated when there was a knock at the door. He sighed in frustration, getting up and opening the door, blinking at the red-haired woman scowling at him, Charles leaning on her shoulder.

"Does this belong tae you?", asked Moira, narrowing her eyes, pushing Charles into the doorway.

"And the cat came back, he didn't stay away", sang Charles drunkenly, before falling face-down on his bed, snoring loudly.

"Alas, yes", sighed Erik, "sorry. He didn't try to hump your leg or anything, did he?"

"No", she said, "He did tell me he was a millionaire"

"Oh, that's true", said Erik, "Well…sort of"

"Oh", Moira blinked, "I thought he was trying to get me to sleep with him"

"He probably was", admitted Erik.

"Oh", Moira said again, "..Right. Well, when he comes around, tell him I'll take him up on his date, as long as he can prove he's not a troglodyte"

"I'll tell him", chuckled Erik, "But that really is asking a lot of him…wait, you actually want to date the sad little freak?"

"Oh, he's lucky tae have a friend like you", said Moira acidly, "insulting him and leaving him when he's drunk. Puh"

She gave him a scathing look, then stalked away down the corridor, leaving Erik blinking rather confused.

"Call again anytime", he muttered darkly under his breath, closing the door.

**&&&&**

(1) - This would be the concert where the opening act would have a young Buddy Holly. I went to the Buddy musical last month, so I had to slip it in somewhere. Wee!

(2) - Though I don't really need to say it, Moira is canon.

Wee another chapter done! For readers of the Chronicles, they have not been abandoned, I promise you. The new series is just a little behind, it will show eventually. Anyway, do review, until next time…


	8. Where the kitty cats roam

Yin and Yang

By Todd Fan

Disclaimer: "You know, sometimes you are the most annoying man that I know. There's plenty of times I've wanted to kill you and I'm your best friend"

**&&&&**

Just to let you all know I updated my author profile, adding my YouTube account while I was at it, as I've had one for months and never thought to link it to you guys.

**&&&**

Chapter 8 - Where the kitty cats roam

**&&&&**

A month later, and it was definitely clear. Charles Xavier had got himself a girlfriend….and he wouldn't stop rubbing it in.

"You wouldn't believe what she said to me when we visited the zoo today", he rattled on.

"That she felt she'd found the place she truly belonged when she got to the reptile house?", tried Erik.

"No", said Charles, shooting his friend a glare, "Can't you at least try to be nice about her?"

"She started it", said Erik childishly, "I get the distinct feeling your girlfriend doesn't like me".

"Moria", said Charles pointedly, "Is friendly to everyone"

"She attacked me with a stapler!"

"She was just being friendly", aid Charles, "Besides, you're a magnetokentic, it's not like she could hurt you"

"Charles", said Erik slowly, "She attacked me. With. A. Stapler. This is not the actions of a woman who likes someone"

"You're overreacting", said Charles waving him off, "I think you're just jealous"

"I am not jealous", said Erik, crossing his arms, "Me? Jealous? Pah"

"But, Erik…", started Charles.

"I said pah!", said Erik, firmly.

Charles rolled his eyes as they continued to walk along the street just outside campus.

"Pah all you like, I….", he trailed off, looking at a bush.

"What? You think I'm jealous of the bush now?", asked Erik, feeling a little irrational.

"No", said Charles, walking over to it, rummaging around before pulling out a black and white thing, "Oh, look, a **KITTEN!**"

Erik rolled his eyes as Charles held up the cat which was so obviously not a kitten.

"Yes, very nice", he said curtly, "lets go now, Charles"

"Awwww, but he's a kitten", said Charles, patting the cat, "we can't leave him"

"Yes, yes we can", said Erik, "It's easy, we turn and walk away"

"But he could get hit by a car!"

"But we'll be far away, in our dorm room, and won't see it getting hit by a car", said Erik pleasantly.

Charles made a squeak of protest, hugging the 'kitten' closer before giving a firm nod.

"He's going to live with us"

"If they catch us with that thing, we'll be expelled!", protested Erik.

"I'm a telepath, Erik, I think I can hide him from them", he smiled, "we should name him. I was thinking…Godzilla the Wonder Cat"

"How about Norman?", said Erik dryly (1)

"Norman isn't a cat name", said Charles, then grinned, "Oh, I know! Mr Boots!"

"Call it what you like, I don't even care anymore", said Erik, "You're going to keep it anyway. Then within a week, you'll be bored, and **I'll** have to look after it"

"No way!", said Charles, "I'll look after him forever"

"What about the spider plant?", asked Erik, "You said you'd look after that 'forever and ever'. Where is it now? Dead. That's where"

"Dead isn't a where, Erik, it's a state", said Charles.

"Don't correct my English to change the subject"

Charles sighed thrusting 'Mr Boots' into Erik's arms.

"Take him back to the dorm room while I got to the store and get some kitten things", said Charles, then smiled, "Aww, look, he likes you"

"Well, I don't like him", said Erik, holding the cat at arms length.

"Oh, you'll get on fine!", said Charles, running off, "See you back home!"

"But…..", Erik sighed, watching Charles vanish behind a building, "…..Why?"

Mr. Boots looked at him and mewed. Erik gave the cat a disgruntled glare, then started off back to the dorm room.

**&&&&**

A few hours later, and Charles entered the dorm room, his arms laden with bags of cat supplies, looking like his birthday had come early.

"Wow, Erik, you wouldn't believe the stuff you can get at the petstore!", he said excitedly, "And the lady was so helpful, she showed me all the best stuff for…."

He trailed off. Erik was sitting in a chair in the middle of the room. The rest of the room looked like a miniature war zone. Erik was smiling the very disturbing fake smile he wore when he wanted to kill someone. Usually Charles.

"…..What happened here?"

"Apparently, Mr Boots like destroying things", said Erik, his fake smile widening, "Like the curtains. Or my bed"

"Oh", Charles looked around at carnage, "Little Mr. Boots did all this?"

"Yes. He did", growled Erik, "And then he stole my turkey sandwich and barfed it up on my pillow"

"Well, you shouldn't have fed him a turkey sandwich, then", said Charles, "That's not part of his proper balanced diet. He must have upset his tummy"

Erik looked at him for a minute.

"Do you just omit parts of what I say to you, and only hear what you want to hear?", he asked.

"Mostly, yes", said Charles with a nod, grabbing a little ball and tossing it at the cat, "Go on, Mr. Boots, go get it!"

Mr. Boots didn't get up from where he was lying, he just followed the ball with his eyes, let out a huff, and went back to sleep.

"Well, he's so very interactive, isn't he?", said Erik dryly, "He could keep us entertained for hours. Oh, when will the fun ever stop?"

"You don't have to be sarcastic", said Charles, "He's just settling in, is all"

"I thought he 'settled in' after destroying our room", replied Erik

"Just think, Erik", said Charles, "One day, we can look back on all this and…"

"Use it as defence in a murder trial" (2)

"You're getting very highly strung over a kitten", said Charles.

"He is a fully grown, mangy alley cat!", said Erik, "In no way, shape, or form is that a kitten!"

Charles looked at the dozing Mr. Boots.

"He looks like a kitten to me", he said, "And look how peaceful he looks! Haven't you ever wanted a pet, Erik? Think what Mr. Boots will do for your social skills?"

"What's wrong with my social skills?", snapped Erik.

"You don't have any"

"That's not true!", protected Erik, "I have them! There was that time….no, wait…well, what about…."

Charles arched a brow at him. Erik glared, crossing his arms moodily.

"I had a troubled childhood!"

"That's no excuse to be so grumpy all the time", said Charles, "You act like an old man"

"Meh meh me meh me", said Erik childishly.

"Yup", said Charles with a firm nod, "Mr. Boots is going to work wonders on you"

**&&&&&**

(1) – This is from a Bert and Ernie sketch, though they got a dog. I challenge anyone not to find a likeness between Bert and Ernie and Erik and Chuck

(2) - From the wonderfully bizarre Britcom '2 Point 4 Children'.

Hey all, sorry this is late, even later than I planned. Uni work is a cruel mistress. Do review. Until next time….


	9. The birthday

Yin and Yang

By Todd Fan

Disclaimer: "Well, I did some research on the historical significance of birthdays - uncovered a lot of interesting facts, and, uh... I'm not going to share them with you. Happy birthday, big guy!"

**&&&&&**

Yes, this is so late, it's not even funny, and I apologise. My muse has not been kind to fanfiction as of late. Not to my XME fanfiction, anyway. Bah.

**&&&&**

Chapter 9 - The birthday

**&&&&**

A month later, and Erik was waking from a good sleep. He felt rested. He felt good….

…..He felt something heavy on his chest.

He opened his eyes, seeing a close up of a furry face.

"GAH!", he screeched.

Mr. Boots sniffed his nose, nonplussed by the Screaming Human, before jumping off and padding across the room. Erik sat up, glaring at the retreating cat.

"Every goddamn morning", he said, before Charles' face appeared inches from his own, "GAH!!!"

"Gooood morning!", grinned Charles, "It's a wonderful day, isn't it? A wonderful, wonderful day. A brilliantly wonderful…."

"Charles, I know it's your birthday", said Erik with a sigh, reaching under his bed and bringing out a wrapped thing, "You can stop dropping hints"

"AWESOME!", grinned Charles, snatching it and jumping on the bed, ignoring Erik groaning as he was jostled about, "what is it?"

"You have to open it to find out", said Erik, "That is the point of the wrapping, is it not…oh, why am I even talking…"

Charles had already begun tearing into the thing, his excitement building, before the gift lay in his hands.

"…..Oh"

"Do you like it?", asked Erik, "I thought it was quite nice, myself"

"…..Erik, this is a belt", said Charles, holding it up, "A brown, leather belt"

"Yup", nodded Erik.

Charles narrowed his eyes, before smirking.

"Very funny", he said, "Where's the real gift?"

"That is the real gift", said Erik, confused.

"Ahhh, so you're going to pull it out on me later", said Charles with a nod, "Okay, I'll play along. I'll even act surprised"

"….What's wrong with a belt?", asked Erik, "And what are you rambling on about?"

"Mum's the word", said Charles, tapping his nose.

Leaving Erik looking perplexed, he jumped off the bed, walking over to his stockpile and pulling out something, holding it up for Erik to see.

"Look what Ernie the Skeech got me"

"Wow, it's a….", Erik blinked at it, "Decorative vase?"

"Don't be a square, Erik", said Charles, "It's a bong!"

"…As in, getting stoned from bong?", asked Erik, "Who on earth would send you that?"

"Someone who likes me more than to give me some cheapo belt"

"Hey, I put a lot of thought and effort into that gift!", snapped Erik, "I had a ROPE for a belt when I was a kid"

"And", said Charles, ignoring him, "Kevin put up a slip'n'slide in the outside hallway for us to slide on!"

"Oh, that's the perfect birthday gift", said Erik dryly, "Broken bones!"

"And Moira baked me a cake", said Charles, waving at it, "She's going to come over later for some lovin' so you can leave for a few hours"

"Oh, really?", said Erik in false cheer, "I feel so touched!"

"I know", said Charles, "Now, if you excuse me, I have to go have a sliding good time outside!"

"Whatever", said Erik, lying back down, covering his head with his duvet, "Don't come crying to me when you've hurt yourself"

"That, Erik", said Charles pointedly, "Is never going to happen"

**&&&&**

"I hate to say I told you so…."

Charles looked up at Erik from where he was lying on his bed.

"No, you love saying 'I told you so'", he said, "It's your favourite thing to say"

"Well, I wasn't the one stupid enough to slide along a piece of wet plastic which ended in stairs", said Erik, "Didn't it occur to you that you wouldn't be able to break?"

"Oh, just shut up and go and get me some painkillers", said Charles, "I think I broke my leg"

"No, you sprained your leg, you ass", said Erik, heading out towards the door, "Just stay put, and I'll get something to dull the pain before Moira arrives"

"You, Erik, are a star", said Charles, "and I promise not to root around for your surprise gift"

Erik rolled his eyes, muttering under his breath as he left. Charles sat up and looked around, breaking his promise instantly. He didn't see anything that looked like a surprise gift. His eyes did fall on something though…something that brought a smile to his face.

**&&&&&**

Half an hour later, Erik walked in, a paper bag in his hand. Mr. Boots greeted him at the door, giving a small meow.

"No food for you", said Erik, "Go away, Hellbeast"

Mr. Boots flicked his ears, before trotting over to where Charles was sitting, cross-legged in the middle of the floor. He was looking intently at a book. An upside down book.

"…..Charles", said Erik carefully, "….what are you doing?"

"I'm studying genetics", said Charles, not looking up from his upside down book.

"…That's an algebra book", pointed out Erik, then frowned, sniffing the air, "you used the bong, didn't you?"

Charles blinked at him, then smiled.

"How many cups of sugar does it take to get to the moon?" (1)

Before Erik could answer, Charles gave an odd laugh, then landed face first in the cake beside him. Erik blinked at him.

"….Oh, well this is just great", he said, "Real helpful Charles, what's going to happen when….."

The door knocked.

"….Moira gets here?".

Erik gritted his teeth, running over to Charles, dragging him into the bathroom.

"You are an evil, evil little man", he hissed, before racing over to the door, opening it wide with a smile, "Moira!"

"Hello, you", said Moira coldly, crossing her arms.

"How are we this fine…day?", said Erik, trying to block her as she looked over his shoulder.

"Where's Charles?"

"Oh he's…umm…indisposed at this moment in time".

"And what happened tae my cake?", asked Moira, looking at the wreaked confectionary in horror.

Think fast, Erik.

"Umm….a bird"

Moira blinked at him.

"A bird?"

"Yes", nodded Erik, "a big bird flew in and wreaked your cake"

Moira folded her arms.

"You expect me tae believe that a bird flew in and wreaked my cake, which I spent hours backing, for my boyfriends birthday?", she asked.

"Yes"

Moira took a deep breath through her nose. Erik winced, this was never good. That was the noise she made before bringing out the stapler.

"You are unbelievable", she said, "If you wanted to make me look bad, you could have done it differently than running Charles' cake. And then you LIED to me, a stupid lie about a bird! You are SUCH a petty little man. I should make you eat what's left of his cake!"

"Perhaps it will take the taste of foot out of my mouth", said Erik, then off her glare, gave a nervous laugh, "mmmmmm foot" (2)

"I'm going tae buy Charles a replacement cake", she said, "I will keep it at home, away from birds called Erik. When Charles comes home, you tell him to come and see me"

With another withering glare, she spun on her heel and stormed out. Erik blinked once, before narrowing his eyes, opening the door to the bathroom.

"I just took a big fall for you, buddy", he said, "you owe me"

Charles gave a snort from where he was passed out in a puddle of his own drool.

"….I really hate you, sometimes", muttered Erik, "Really, I do"

Charles snored loudly. Erik watched him for a moment, before sighing, leaving for a moment, returning with a small, wrapped box.

"You can open your surprise when you regain consciousness, then", he said, placing it by his friends head.

**&&&&&**

(1) – From A Goofy Movie

(2) – From Two and a Half Men. Taste the footy goodness.

There you go, a nice long one to make up for the fact I hardly ever have time to update anymore. Do review. Until next time..


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